What's your version of the perfect man?

Ah, a question that has had many different answers throughout my short life. If you had asked when I was nine, Leonardo DiCaprio no question. At twelve, I would've said Shane West. At fourteen, it was Orlando Bloom. At twenty-four, it's Leonardo DiCaprio again (just kidding) (kind of kidding) (Leo, call me). But really, almost at my quarter-life mark and inevitable crisis (Does anyone else feel like they have a coming-of-age crisis every year? More on that at a later date), I think I have pieced together a pretty balanced, yet realistic, yet not-selling-myself-short "perfect man." 

First of all, the perfect man doesn't exist, and we all know that. Perfection is unattainable, what's perfect for you isn't perfect for someone else, blah blah blah, we get it. The question was what do IIIII consider a perfect man, so I will answer assuming my version of perfection can exist.

Funny. The guy has got to be funny. That is definitely number one. And by funny I mean, yes, he can crack jokes and is sarcastic and witty. But I also mean he gets my brand of humor. He not only laughs at my jokes, but actually finds me funny. He is sarcastic and understands sarcasm. Funny is such a key element to a perfect guy for me.

Of course there are the basics; he's got to be caring and compassionate. Whether that means he loves dogs (he has to) or he buys me chocolate when I'm being mean and PMSy (he should). He's got to be a family-minded person. He's involved with his family, and he wants one of his own. He's got to be smart to some degree because there are lots of ways to be smart. I don't need him to be a genius, have a PhD, or be smarter than me (he shouldn't be) (just kidding) (maybe); I just want him to be competent and strong willed and educated enough to argue points for things he cares about. He's got to be hard working and motivated but able to be lazy with me on Sundays at the very least. Not a workaholic but not a bum. 

Then there are the superficial things: I like tall men. Nice smile. Nice eyes. That feels obvious, but when building the perfect man one should be specific. Nice sense of fashion or willing to let me guide him in that arena. Athletic or active, whether it be sports or outdoor activities or what have you. 

It would be cool if he liked to read. He has to like TV and movies, which also sounds obvious but really isn't. Some people don't like TV. I don't get it either. What will we talk about? How will you get it when I quote things? It would be amazing if he could cook, but at the very least he has to appreciate food. Sure, everyone eats. But not everyone gets food. We've got to be mutual foodies. It will be a big part of our relationship, I guarantee you that. 

He has to be a good compromiser and patient with me because I'm a stubborn compromiser. He has to challenge me and learn from me as much as I learn from him. We have to be best friends because really, what's the point if you're not? 

There are probably a million things I'll think of later that I should've said, and those things probably will change tomorrow or next year into other things I think are important as I figure out what perfect actually means to me. So ask me again in like six months. Maybe perfection doesn't exist, but I think there are people perfect for each of us. Even if he's not perfect for you, at some point that won't matter and he'll seem perfect anyways (until he leaves the seat up or forgets to pick you up on time or buys you an ugly sweater as a birthday gift or forgets what color your eyes are...but you'll pay him back for that in various ways too).

So Mr. Perfect, call me (aka Leo).